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What is thicker than blood? Emptyness.

2013-12-22 07:26:38 by Insanctuary

I was going through my songs like I do every once a while to recall my older experiences; to feel chills take over my body, and I couldn't help but notice that someone had the time to go through all of my songs just to zero bomb everything down to my very first songs. It's depressing, really, I already have to deal with much emptyness, but for someone to spend their life's time to snuff out every single song of mine and take it down to 1 star and less... It's a putrid and stomache violating thing to do to anyone, and all I can think about is how I have constantly taken away the things I've created and practically took my own time to destroy much of what I should owe myself to, but not once have I ever took a moment to transpire my own dilemmas into somebody else's. Not once. I always keep my own problems to myself, but for someone to spend their fucking time to bring down someone else's work is an animosity unanswered. People always think of me as some arrogant prick, but deep down I am living the hole that everyone pretends doesn't exist every day, and I am always showing people that we still can be something no matter how often our fingers slip, while living as a ghost that is left to bottle everything up, whether it be murdering my cat when I was 10, or keeping others from going off the deep end. The love of my life bloody abandoned me, for a reason that is beyond my intuition, and I am constantly having to help others, while I am left to etch more of my sorrows into the wall, just to pick myself up again to grab some colors and to remind myself that I can turn these empty letters into something that is worth experiencing. I am at awe that the one thing that I ever wished for during any holiday of giving, I am given little of, and that was love and peace. As cheesy as it is, it's the one thing that we all fuck our lives over for, and it's the one that I never gotten the chance to fuck my life over for, because I never stopped loving myself in a world that stopped loving itself. I just wished that maybe people would stop making others suffer because they cannot face their own damned suffering. Good men don't deserve to die like dogs, no matter how darwinian this world may seem, we are in charge of our actions, and the simple fact that somebody out there took it upon themselves to attempt to destroy the spirit of a man that is the only thing that shines brighter than any dark hour of my falling outs, crushes me and only leaves me to question why I have any hope left for this human race that should've been called the hubris race millenias ago.


Comments

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SeprixSeprix

2014-02-24 01:52:26

Let me help you. The real question? Who the hell cares? Lighten up, good sir. There is more to life than theological questions and hatred and poetics and sadness. Sure, the world has gone to bloody hell, but it's never changed. It's always been the same. And there is good in this world. I'm sorry you've been under so much pain. I feel for you (not as much as I would like, because let's face it, this is the internet). I wish you well.

:3

(Updated ) Insanctuary responds:

Thank you. However, my painful musings are my strengths. I was never in a terrible place. Life is suffering, as Buddha, himself, once said.


mindchamber3mindchamber3

2013-12-23 22:37:39

and heres me coming across as an insensitive raging hormones teen with his dick in his hands but no all jokes aside i liked your audio dont let NG'S stupid ass reviewers get you down most people here only have single ounces of sentience and should be removed from the gene pool to further human progress
SO I SAY HATE THE HATERS , LOVE THE LISTENERS! :3

Insanctuary responds:

Single ounces of sentience is a reference to the only sentience they have, sperm, correct?


mindchamber3mindchamber3

2013-12-23 22:33:19

hard water? no baby glue :3

Insanctuary responds:

I'm not quite sure glue has salt in it.


monpekokeromonpekokero

2013-12-23 04:04:42

My dick is thicker than blood, tell your friends.

Insanctuary responds:

You can't just place your hand there and pretend it's a dick, mate.


mindchamber3mindchamber3

2013-12-22 20:37:14

semen is also thicker than blood.

Insanctuary responds:

Perhaps semen's new reference should be hard water, eh?


SirUndeadSirUndead

2013-12-22 12:51:46

Shame about the tragedy that is apparently your life, though I don't know the tale well enough to legitimately make an effort to lift you up about it. But I'd like to say that you're clearly a great writer if nothing else, but more importantly, you should bear in mind that the NG score is far from what your songs are worth, and even more importantly, what they SHOULD be worth to you.

It doesn't matter if the world hates your creations, it only matters that you create them. I'm an advocate for selfishness and ethical egoism, but it seems that approach won't work on a bleeding heart like you.

At least not for a while.

Insanctuary responds:

When few find admiration in my music, there's always my unconditional love there to sit beside it to reassure it of its value as a piece of music. A lot of heart and character is designed in my music, and it would be equivalent to partial suicide if I were to abandon a part of my expressive self simply because some crotch monkey decided to hate all over my work. I love my music. What I cannot bring myself to love is the reasons behind most actions today, and how mostly every action that you see made today is actually a compensatory reject of an action that is meant to elude a more adequate action that the host cannot bring themselves to make because this action actually takes responsibility and integrity and virtue and psychical balance to even remotely see the light of this reality and its perpetual cyclings.

As for your advocation of the ego, and the properties that come with it, I do agree that people will walk over you without your dominance, and will either fear you, or face you with your dominance. It depends on how we use our dominance that draws the line between healthy dominance, or guilty dominance.


daethdraindaethdrain

2013-12-22 11:32:38

:,( o man

(Updated ) Insanctuary responds:

I always say that life and I come with thorns, but I'm still a plant... a rose with thorns that can wither.