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I was going through my songs like I do every once a while to recall my older experiences; to feel chills take over my body, and I couldn't help but notice that someone had the time to go through all of my songs just to zero bomb everything down to my very first songs. It's depressing, really, I already have to deal with much emptyness, but for someone to spend their life's time to snuff out every single song of mine and take it down to 1 star and less... It's a putrid and stomache violating thing to do to anyone, and all I can think about is how I have constantly taken away the things I've created and practically took my own time to destroy much of what I should owe myself to, but not once have I ever took a moment to transpire my own dilemmas into somebody else's. Not once. I always keep my own problems to myself, but for someone to spend their fucking time to bring down someone else's work is an animosity unanswered. People always think of me as some arrogant prick, but deep down I am living the hole that everyone pretends doesn't exist every day, and I am always showing people that we still can be something no matter how often our fingers slip, while living as a ghost that is left to bottle everything up, whether it be murdering my cat when I was 10, or keeping others from going off the deep end. The love of my life bloody abandoned me, for a reason that is beyond my intuition, and I am constantly having to help others, while I am left to etch more of my sorrows into the wall, just to pick myself up again to grab some colors and to remind myself that I can turn these empty letters into something that is worth experiencing. I am at awe that the one thing that I ever wished for during any holiday of giving, I am given little of, and that was love and peace. As cheesy as it is, it's the one thing that we all fuck our lives over for, and it's the one that I never gotten the chance to fuck my life over for, because I never stopped loving myself in a world that stopped loving itself. I just wished that maybe people would stop making others suffer because they cannot face their own damned suffering. Good men don't deserve to die like dogs, no matter how darwinian this world may seem, we are in charge of our actions, and the simple fact that somebody out there took it upon themselves to attempt to destroy the spirit of a man that is the only thing that shines brighter than any dark hour of my falling outs, crushes me and only leaves me to question why I have any hope left for this human race that should've been called the hubris race millenias ago.